he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
