Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize