It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
