she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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