I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
