i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
