I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
