the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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