So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
