So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
