this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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