how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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