so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
