I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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