Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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