Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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