what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This is the prime rib incident all over again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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