so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
do herpes really smell.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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