i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
