omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
