M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
