you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
