yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
