I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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