I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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