well I can't set my house on fire every night
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
