OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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