Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
