Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
