would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
