News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
