garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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