Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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