he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
