I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
