If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
one might say we're banned from that church
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
