Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i now understand why vodka
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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