Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
