So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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