i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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