I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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