In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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