Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
