First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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