New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
