like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
