I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
