Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
