Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
