I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
