She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
