i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
