I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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