I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
