We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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