Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
