Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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(210): View more from Texas

eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?

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(208): View more from Idaho

opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling

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(585): View more from New York

Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history

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(646): View more from New York

I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.

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(207): View more from Maine

how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...

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(551): View more from New Jersey

How high are you rn

(201): View more from New Jersey

Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos

(551): View more from New Jersey

So not that high

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