I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
