wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
