I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
