I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
