you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
