Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
