it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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