i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
