My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
